Courage

To my daughter,

One year ago, I let go of your little hand and watched as you were wheeled out of my sight behind double doors.  I waited for nine long hours, pacing back and forth.  Yes, I cried.  I was was terrified for you.  You let go of my hand, and with a single tear, went to face the demons that awaited you. 

You did not flinch, you did not cry, you did not try to escape.  You knew what had to be done and went to meet it head on.  That, my dearest daughter, is courage.  It is not the absence of fear.  For when we are not afraid, there is no reason to have courage.  Rather, it is the knowing what is out there and then rising to the challenge.  It is acknowledging the risk, taking a deep breath, and then leaping into the fray. 

I watched as you came out of surgery.  I watched you unable to move.  I watched your little body in pain and sick from medication.  I saw the tubes, drains, and monitors.  But I saw so much more than that.  I saw sheer determination.  I knew that you would fight.  I saw you push through pain.  I saw you argue with therapists and nurses when they tried to slow you down.  I watched when you started physical therapy, and they told you not to overdo it.  You stubbornly refused to quit.  You have so much fight in you.

Kathryn, I know as I write this you are afraid.  I know that you do not want to go back.  I am just as ready as you are to put it all behind us and move on.  I wish I could take this burden away from you.  I would gladly walk this path for you, but I cannot.  You have already overcome so much.

Please understand, this is not a perfect world.  Sometimes we must face things that we would rather not.  It is a necessary part of life.  It is from these challenges that we grow.  We learn more about ourselves and what we are capable of.  History has already shown us what a courageous and strong-willed little girl you are.  You have more spirit and strength than many people far older than you.  I promise it will serve you well.  I think it already has. 

So my angel, take a deep breath, hold my hand, and we will walk through the next few days together.  Be courageous, for there is little else to do.  Remember the strength you have.  It courses through your blood, my dear.  You are stronger than you know.  You have more determination and spunk than I could ever hope to have.  You have taught me more than I could have imagined.  You are more precious to me than life.

Your nurses were right, you really are Wonder Woman!