Some Moral Minima

A Review

Lenn E. Goodman wrote the article Some Moral Minima in an attempt to point out certain morals that should be universal.  Goodman singles "out a few areas where I think human deserts are irrefragable — not because these deserts are never questioned or breached in practice, but because they never should be."  (Goodman, 2010)  The article more specifically targets "(1) genocide, politically induced famine, and germ warfare; (2) terrorism, hostage taking, and child warriors; (3) slavery, polygamy, and incest; and (4) rape and female genital cutting."  (Goodman, 2010)  Although Goodman makes several viable points, his view of universal deserts is too broad.   Values and morals are not universal.  Although it may seem they should be universal, ethics are almost always subjective and relative to their current situation and cultural context.  Concessions may be given to Goodman's list, however in some cases he simply goes too far. 

Goodman claims that "all living beings make claims to life" and that "murder is wrong because it destroys a human subject."  Generally, this is true.  However, it is also subjective to the situation.  Is it wrong to kill a person in an act of self-defense?  There are certain situations where the taking of someone else's life is justified.  As Louis P. Pojman stated, "Intentionally taking the life of an innocent human being is so evil that absent mitigating circumstances, the perpetuator forfeits his own right to life.  He or she deserves to die."  (Waller, 2008) 

War too, is an instance where in some cases the ends justify the means.  While genocide, which "targets individuals as members of a group, seeking to destroy a race, a culture, a linguistic or ethnic identity, even class" (Goodman, 2010) is wrong, the killing of innocent people is a part of war.  Indeed, it would be wiser to use whatever means necessary to end a war a quickly as possible, rather than prolonging it for the sake of trying to avoid hurting innocent people.  That is the very nature of war.  Goodman also speaks of terrorism as an absolute.  "Terrorism is willful targeting of non-combatants, aiming to intimidate and attract attention.  It is a war crime, since war, if just at all, seeks only to block an enemy's ability to make war."  (Goodman, 2010)  Again, this too, is subjective.  If the purpose of terrorism was to defeat an enemy of war as quickly as possible and in addition to prevent further invasion from a recurring enemy, then this too is a justifiable means to an end.  "Terrorism, as a tactic, finds its military use in sapping the will to resist."  In this case, ending the will of an enemy to continuously attack may be a better idea than sacrificing one's own citizens on a matter of principle.  Perhaps the reason for inhabitants of certain countries to reject this idea stems more from a lack of ability to perform, rather than the act itself.

After discussing ideas of human life, Goodman's article then focuses on the quality of life to which people have a right.  He cites slavery as "the deepest exploitation."  (Goodman, 2010)  He then speaks of human trafficking, incest and polygamy.  Slavery is no doubt a heinous act which "keeps its victim alive while stripping her of agency."  (Goodman, 2010)  However to include polygamy in the same category as slavery, human trafficking, and incest is wrong.  By alligning polygamy with such acts as slavery and human trafficking, Goodman is creating a strawman fallacy in his line of reasoning.  He is deliberately "distorting, exaggerating or misrepresenting an opponent's position in order to make it easier to attack."  (Waller, 2008)  There is certainly no disputing that abuse can and in many cases does take place in polygamous situations.  However, in these cases, it is the actual abuses that should be dealt with rather than an attack on polygamy itself.  Child brides and abusive relationships may be a part of some polygamous acts, however it is a generalization to say that all polygamist families share in these abuses.  Currently, there is a movement in Utah to legalize polygamy.  Much of this push comes not from the compounds of fundamentalists often featured in the headlines, but rather from independent fundamentalist mormon groups.  These families do not follow a direct leader.  They practice polygamy as a part of their religion.  They do not believe in child or spousal abuse, nor do they condone the act of child brides.  These familes look and act much the same as every other family in the country.  To deny them the right to live and practice their religion is to deny them a basic constitional right.  Further to state that polygamy is the cause of such abuses is similar to saying that it is the gun which kills rather than the individual who uses it.  Both, whether used for good or evil, are the responsibility of those who involved.  Likewise, it is the individual, not the vehicle, which should be accountable. 

Goodman also states that polygamy is "not conducive to familial stability or the growth of emotionally stalwart children."  (Goodman, 2010)  To this one must ask where is there any such evidence?  Familial stability and emotion growth in children comes from the atmosphere of the home.  Polygamy alone neither promotes nor diminishes emotional growth or stability.  Indeed, there are many children in this world that would be much better off in the hands of a loving independent fundamentalist mormon polygamist home rather than the drug infested broken homes many inter-city children live in. 

Goodman ends his disertation with the topic of rape and clitoridectomy.  In this it would be very easy to quickly agree with his assertation, but for one small point.  Goodman states that "statutory rape is as much a crime as violent rape."  (Goodman, 2010)  This is a gross distortion of truth.  Violent rape seeks to "humiliate and abase".  (Goodman, 2010)  Further, it "violates the victim's psyche even as her bodily integrity and self-image are violated and abused".  (Goodman, 2010)  On the other hand statutory rape involves an age difference.  Whereas the sexual abuse of young children is undeniably wrong, consenual sex between two people who are aware of their actions can not be listed in the same category, nor is it the same as a violent rape.  In many cases of statutory rape, the sexual act took place between two teenagers, close in age, yet one is slightly older.  For example, an eighteen year old high school boy engaging in sex with his seventeen year old girlfriend.  Although her parents may disagree, this is in no way the same as a violent rape.  Yet, if parents get angry and have the boy arrested, he faces criminal charges and is marked as a sexual offender.  This is not just.

Goodman's attempt to point out certain morals that should be universal is not without fault.  He may at first appear to construct a well thought out argument; however, in certain areas he falls short.  His argument in some cases lacks proper evidence and in other cases generalizes too much.  Ethics are generally relative and subject to situation, circumstance and culture. 

References

Goodman, L. E. (2010, November 1). Some Moral Minima. The Good Society , 19, pp. 87-94.

Waller, B. N. (2008). Consider Ethics: Theory, Readings, and Contemporary Issues (2nd ed.). New York: Pearson Education, Inc.

Merit

In his article, Merit: Why Do We Value It? Louis Pojman argues that we should strive to form a world in which "the virtuous are rewarded and the vicious punished in proportion to their relative deserts."  (Pojman, 1999, p. 83)  Pojman creates a compeling argument as to why we deserve what we earn.   He sites many examples to support his view and even attempts to persuade  us by offering several objections to his idea.  He then, takes each of these objections apart, offering further justification for his feelings on merit and desert.  Yet despite his efforts, Pojman's argument is still lacking. There are problems that arise from what seems to be such a straight forward idea. 

"Both merit, which emphasizes excellence and contribution, and desert, which emphasizes intention and consciencetious effort" are included in his debate.  (Pojman, 1999, p. 88)  According to Pojman, "desert, then, is closely connected to effort and intention, whereas merit signifies positive qualities that call forth positive response, including qualities that we do not deserve."  (Pojman, 1999, p. 87)  As a definition to what merit and desert are, this a a perfect definition.  However, then stating that one should be rewarded based on desert means that those rewards should place a greater emphasis on intention.  One problem we run into with desert is understanding and then rewarding a person based on their intentions.  As the saying goes, "the road to hell is paved with good intentions".  It is impossible to know what a person's intentions really are.  In addition, this would also infer that if an individual caused harm or pain to another, but did so unintentionally, or better still with good intentions, they should not suffer the same consequences as someone who commited the same act with malice.  Either way, the results of that act would be the same. 

Pojman states, "a notion of a moral order (natural law) wherin good and evil exist, so that evil deeds should be followed with evil results to the evildoer and good deeds with good results to the virtuous person" underlies these principles. (Pojman, 1999, p. 97)  Although there is do dispute for the exsistence of good and evil, it is a relative term.  Our beliefs in right and wrong are based primarily on our societal cultures.  "Societal culture involves beliefs and values about what is desierable and undesireable in a community of people, and a set of formal and informal practices to support the values."  (Kinicki, 2009, p. 63)  Therefore, what is considered good or proper may not appear so in another culture.  This would lead to great inconsistency in trying to reward or punish others.

Pojman is searching for equality and justice. However pleasant this may sound, true equality does not exsist.  To be truly equal, "everyone must be treated alike, whatever their status or strength.  But if…you attempt to treat everyone equally and fairly, you will confront the problem that some people do certain things better than others.  Treating everyone equally means ignoring their differences, elevating the less skillful and suppressing those who excel."  (Greene, 2000 p. xviii)  In fact, you will soon find that "many of those who behave this way are actually deploying another power strategy, redistributing people's rewards in a way that they determine." (Greene, 2000 p. xviii) 

This brings us to one of the biggest problems with Pojman's well orchestrated theory.  Who determines what is right and wrong, and as a result the reward or punishment they should receive?  Does he assume we will have altruistic leaders to light the way or will other completely unselfish members of society take on the role of judges on our behalf?  The chances of either are not very likely.  With no great leader or great dispearsment of reward or punishment available on earth, people will naturally revert back to their natural state.  As such, there really is no one great consistent judgement available to carry out so great a task. 

Many may argue that we do in fact have such a leader in the form of God.  This may be true.  However for the most part, those rewards must come after we have already left this mortal state.  If we are to wait for those rewards and punishments alone, there would be very little to either encourage or discourage the moral acts of those still here.

In addition, we face the issue of change.  Societies, cultures, governments and people are constantly evolving.  As Han-Fei-Tzu, a chinease philosopher from the third century B.C. points out, "the sage neither seeks to follow the ways  of the ancients nor establishes any fixed standard for all times but examines the things of his age and then prepares to deal with them.  There was in Sung a man, who tilled a field in which there stood the trunk of a tree.  Once a hare, while running fast, rushed against the trunk, broke its neck, and died.  There upon the man cast his plow aside and watched that tree, hoping that he would get another hare.  Yet he never caught another hare and was himself ridiculed by the people of Sung.  Now supposing somebody wanted to govern the people of the present age with the policies of the early kings, he would be doing exactly the same thing as that man who watched the tree."  (Greene, 2000 p. 423) 

We cannot effectively set forth grounds to reward and punish others based on merit and desert as Pojman sets forth.  In order to do so we would need a moral code set in stone, that everyone was willing to abide by, and that altruistic, impartial leaders could inforce.  However, this is just not practical.  Although Pojman's argument sounds very attractive, his lack of realism leaves us with very little usefulness from his long dissertation.  In short, we are right back where we stated. 

References

Greene, R. (2000). The 48 Laws of Power. New York: Penguin Books, Ltd.

Kinicki, A. (2009). Organizational Behavior, Key Concept Skills and Best Practices. New York: McGraw-Hill.

Pojman, L. (1999). Merit: Why Do We Value It? Journal of Social Philosophy , 30 (No. 1), 83-102.

Persuasion, manipulation, and seduction

Persuasion, manipulation, and seduction are probably some of the most powerful things on earth.  Although they may differ slightly, they are the forces that convince others to do as we want.  The end result is the same.  We contrive a way to have others follow our own wishes or to behave in a way that is profitable to us.  As quoted in the 2000 movie Boiler Room "there is no such thing as a no sale call.  A sale is made on every call you make.  Either you sell a client on some stock or he sells you on a reason he can't.  Either way, a sale is made.  The only question is whose going to close, you or him!"  (Younger, 2000)  These three words may be very similar, yet there are some differences.

There are certainly several definitions to the word persuasion.  This one word can cover so much ground in the convincing of others.  However, the most straight forward and simple definition seems to be “a conscious attempt by one individual or group to change the attitudes, beliefs, or behavior of another individual or group of individuals through the transmission of some message.”  (Seiter & Gass, 2004, p. 14)  This particular definition covers a wide scope of situations.  Indeed, we can see how it can also cover the topics of both manipulation and seduction.  Rather than being two completely different ideas, manipulation and seduction are tools used in persuasion.

The idea behind effective persuasion was best defined by the Chinese philosopher, Han-fei-tzu, in the third century B.C.  He stated, "the difficulties in the way of persuasion lie in my knowing the heart of the persuaded in order thereby to fit my wording into it… For this reason, whoever attempts persuasion before the throne, must carefully observe the sovereign's feelings and love and hate, his secret wishes and fears, before he can conquer his heart."  (Greene, 2000, p. 375)  In other words, persuasion can only occur when attach our words or messages to something that the person receiveing the message can take to heart.  Otherwise, there is no need for them to follow as we lead. 

The dictionary defines manipulation in this way, "to negotiate, control, or influence (something or someone) cleverly, skilfully, or deviously." Typically the major difference between manipulation and persuasion or seduction is the decietfulness that most often accomplishes the persuasion.  When we manipulate someone, we are not always honest in our dealings.  Often times, we stretch the truth, leave information out, or play on specific fears a person may have.  It is a term to reflect the darker side that persuasion can have.  Manipulation tends to stir up feelings of anger, disappointment and resentment.  The manipulator holds the cards, but only for a little while.  Once realization sinks in, the one coerced begins to feel cheated and underminded.  They lose respect for the manipulator.  Although this can be a powerful tool in persuasion, it should be done with care, less it begins to take over your repuation.

In 2001, Enron shocked the financial world when it let shareholders take the fall.  Enron was involved in several high-risk practices.  However, rather than dealing with issues in a more honest fashion, executives misled Enron's board of directors.  In addition, they pressured the Chief Financial Officer to ignore the issues.  This form of manipulation caused shareholders to lose millions of dollars when the company was forced to bankrupt.

Seduction is also a form of persuasion.  However, unlike manipulation, it is an art.  In his book, The 48 Laws of Power, Robert Green explains, "Coersion creates a reaction that will eventually work against you.  You must seduce others into wanting to move in your direction.  A person you have seduced becomes your loyal pawn.  And the way to seduce others is to operate on their individual psychologies and weaknesses.  Soften up the resistant by working on their emotions, playing on what the hold dear and what they fear.  Ignore the hearts and minds of others and they will grow to hate you."  (Greene, The 48 Laws of Power, 2000, p. 367)  In seduction, the key is that others want to follow.  It is the softer, more palatable side of persuasion.  "Today we have reached the ultimate point in the evolution of seduction.  Now more than ever, force and brutality of any kind is discouraged.  All areas of social life require the ability to persuade people in a way that does not offend or impose itself."  (Greene, The Art of Seduction, 2003, p. xx)

Realizing of course, that modern-day examples give the most up to date and clear understanding of the differences between persuasion, manipulation, and seduction, history holds the undeniable advantage of giving us time-honored examples.  Rather, than seeing only the immediate affects of the persuasion, we can also see the long term affects.  For example, one of the most famous seductions in history came from Cleopatra in seduction of the undefeatable Julius Ceasar.  At the time that Ceasar met Cleopatra, he was already an accomplished conquerer.  He had conquered many lands and many women.  Cleopatra, however, was different.  "Ceasar had seen many women try anything to keep him under their spell.  Yet nothing prepared him for Cleopatra… His life with her was a constant game, as challenging as warfare, for the moment he felt secure with her she would suddenly turn cold or angry and he would have to find a way to regain her favor… The weeks went by.  Ceasar got rid of all Cleopatra's rivals and found excuses to stay in Egypt…And while he stayed long in Egypt, away from his throne in Rome, all kinds of turmoil erupted throughout the Roman Empire."  (Greene, The Art of Seduction, 2003, p. 7-8)  Cleopatra knew how to seduce and hold a man's attention.  Through her skill, she was able to draw in and mesmerize one of history's greatest conquerers.  She not only secured her own position as queen of Egypt, but changed the course of history.

Persuasion is indeed a powerful force.  It molds and creates this world.  It is what takes us from the darkest corners of the earth into a place of light and back again.  It affects everything from war to peace.  It is as constant of a force as is gravity.  Yet understanding the diffferences between persuasion, manipulation, and seduction can also give us a better ability to navigate through life and rise to a place of peace and comfort.

References

Greene, R. (2000). The 48 Laws of Power. New York: Penguin Books, Ltd.

Greene, R. (2003). The Art of Seduction. New York: Penguin Group, Inc.

Seiter, J. S., & Gass, R. H. (2004). Perspectives on Persuasion, Social Influence, and Compliance Gaining. Boston: Pearson Education, Inc.

Younger, B. (Director). (2000). Boiler Room [Motion Picture].

Courage

To my daughter,

One year ago, I let go of your little hand and watched as you were wheeled out of my sight behind double doors.  I waited for nine long hours, pacing back and forth.  Yes, I cried.  I was was terrified for you.  You let go of my hand, and with a single tear, went to face the demons that awaited you. 

You did not flinch, you did not cry, you did not try to escape.  You knew what had to be done and went to meet it head on.  That, my dearest daughter, is courage.  It is not the absence of fear.  For when we are not afraid, there is no reason to have courage.  Rather, it is the knowing what is out there and then rising to the challenge.  It is acknowledging the risk, taking a deep breath, and then leaping into the fray. 

I watched as you came out of surgery.  I watched you unable to move.  I watched your little body in pain and sick from medication.  I saw the tubes, drains, and monitors.  But I saw so much more than that.  I saw sheer determination.  I knew that you would fight.  I saw you push through pain.  I saw you argue with therapists and nurses when they tried to slow you down.  I watched when you started physical therapy, and they told you not to overdo it.  You stubbornly refused to quit.  You have so much fight in you.

Kathryn, I know as I write this you are afraid.  I know that you do not want to go back.  I am just as ready as you are to put it all behind us and move on.  I wish I could take this burden away from you.  I would gladly walk this path for you, but I cannot.  You have already overcome so much.

Please understand, this is not a perfect world.  Sometimes we must face things that we would rather not.  It is a necessary part of life.  It is from these challenges that we grow.  We learn more about ourselves and what we are capable of.  History has already shown us what a courageous and strong-willed little girl you are.  You have more spirit and strength than many people far older than you.  I promise it will serve you well.  I think it already has. 

So my angel, take a deep breath, hold my hand, and we will walk through the next few days together.  Be courageous, for there is little else to do.  Remember the strength you have.  It courses through your blood, my dear.  You are stronger than you know.  You have more determination and spunk than I could ever hope to have.  You have taught me more than I could have imagined.  You are more precious to me than life.

Your nurses were right, you really are Wonder Woman!

Delivering Bad News Tactfully and Effectively

Conflict is "a process that begins when someone perceives that someone else has negatively affected, or is about to negatively affect, something that the first person cares about" (O'Rourke, 2010, p. 298).  Conflict is never an easy thing to deal with.  However, it is a natural part of life and therefore, must be managed. 

Imagining that I am a department manager in a mid-sized company that provides technology support services, I have ten employees who are required to maintain a high level of technical expertise and deliver excellent customer service.  However, one of my employees, who has been with the company for two years, is performing at a substandard level and I have received numerous complaints from customers and coworkers.  In addition, this employee has displayed confrontational behavior that has created a hostile environment.  I must now meet with this employee and deliver an ultimatum regarding the need for immediate improvement or dismissal.

According to James O'Rourke, author of Management Communication, there are certain things you can do to wisely manage conflict.  In approaching my employee, I would certainly follow his advice.  O'Rourke says that it is important to "keep your own emotions neutral"  (O'Rourke, 2010, p. 304)  When speaking to an employee regarding their behavior, it is best to "communicate continually and frankly"  (O'Rourke, 2010, p. 304)  It is important to speak to the other person with respect, yet in a very straight forward way.  There must be no doubt as to your meaning after the conversation. 

In addition, be prepared to follow-up with the employee.  If changes are made and the employee complies with the request, then nothing else needs to be said on the subject.  However, if he does not, then you must be prepared to follow through with what you say.  I have also learned that when speaking to an employee regarding any negative issue, such as reprimanding, firing, or a job demotion, it is always a good idea to have another member of the management staff there as well.  This provides a witness and prevents the mishandling of the situation.  It also ensures that you cannot later be accused of handling the situation incorrectly.

In anticipating the employee's reaction, I would first have to consider the individual.  Since he has already been displaying a confrontational behavior that has created a hostile environment, it seems very likely that he would continue to do so once confronted.  I think it is best to expect the worse and hope for the best in this situation.  That does not mean to go into the meeting with a negative attitude, but to be prepared in case the employee does not take to well to being spoken to on the issue.  As O'Rourke also points out, sometimes it is best to "know when to cut your losses"  (O'Rourke, 2010, p. 305).

There are several techniques that may be needed in this situation.  First, I need to be prepared to break the cycle of escalation.  I need to address my employee with "nonjudgemental description, problem orientation, empathy, equality, and provisionalism"  (Abigail & Cahn, 2011, p. 114).  I also think letting my employee know that I value them, both as a person and an employee is important.  The idea is not to make them feel devalued, but rather to make them understand that their contribution to the organization is important.  However, they must also understand that in order for them to remain valuable they need to behave in a way that is appropriate. 

I hope that by addressing this employee in a frank, respectful, and nonjudgmental way, I can get my point across.  Ideally, that would be the end of the conflict.  However, knowing that tactfully and effectively addressing him may still result in anger.  I must still be prepared to follow through on my ultimatum.

References

Abigail, R. A., & Cahn, D. D. (2011). Managing Conflict Through Communication (4 ed.). Boston: Allyn & Bacon.

O'Rourke, J. S. (2010). MJanagement Communication, A Case-Analysis Approach. Upper Saddle River: Prentice Hall.

Effective Communication

Effective communication is essential for organizations to develop and thrive.  Communication, "the transfer of meaning", includes several dimensions.  (O'Rourke, 2010, p. 24) Verbal and nonverbal messages, overcoming barriers, and effective listening are all very important parts of the communication process.  Mastery of these elements will help to ensure that communication is both effective and productive.

When most people begin to think about communication, they first think of verbal communication.  Verbal communication refers to spoken language.  "In its most general sense, language can be defined as a rule-governed symbol system that allows its users to generate meaning and, in the process, to define reality."  (Trenholm, 2010, p. 68)  In order for verbal communication to be effective it must contain "four important characteristics: it is made up of symbols, it is a kind of knowledge, it is rule governed and productive, and it affects the way we experience the world."  (Trenholm, 2010, p. 68) 

Transfering meaning from one person to another is not an easy task.  First the sender must encode the message, send the message to the recipient, and then the recipient must decode the message.  Notwithstanding many other barriers to communication, this process alone needs consideration.  In order for a sender to relay ideas, they must use some sort of symbol or sign.  "A sign is the vehicle for this expression. It consists of two parts: the private idea located solely in the mind of a communicator (known as the signified); and the form in which the idea is expressed (or the signifier). In natural languages, the signifier is a sequence of spoken sounds."  (Trenholm, 2010, p. 68)  Signs and symbols are integrated deeply into every culture.  They help give us a reference point that every one can understand. 

Spoken language is also a kind of knowledge.  Language itself is not tangible.  It is a form of knowledge we each have and use to communicate and understand the world around us.  Spoken language, or speech, "is the external, physical side of language, and language is the internal, mental side of speech."  (Trenholm, 2010, p. 71) 

Next, verbal or spoken language must be rule goverened and productive.  Because spoken language is based on rules and order, we are able to comprehend information we may not have been exposed to before.  "Your ability to understand and create unusual sentences like this one is called linguistic productivity, and it shows that language learning is more than a matter of trial and error. When we learn language, we don’t learn a set of specific word combinations; instead, we learn rules that allow us to generate meanings."  (Trenholm, 2010, p. 71) 

Lastly, verbal communication affects the way we see the world.  Our very thoughts and feelings are generated through language.  Every feeling, emotion, thought, or memory we have is stored in our brains using languge.  The way we use spoken language to transfer meanings to others is affected by the way we see the world.  In addition, the recipients of our messages will decode their meanings based on their perception of the world. 

Verbal communication is at the heart of transferring meaning.  However, it is only one part of the process.  Even more meaning can be derived from nonverbal communication.  "Nonverbal communication is widely regarded as the transfer of meaning without the use of verbal symbols.  That is, nonverbal refers in a literal sense to those actions, objects, and contexts that either communicate directly or facilitate communication without using words."  (O'Rourke, 2010, p.257)  Nonverbal communication covers three basic categories.  These are sign language, action language, and object language.  Sign language refers to gestures used in the transfer of meaning.  Action language refers to "movements that are not used exclusively for communicating."  (O'Rourke, 2010, p. 257)  Object language covers "all objects, materials, artifacts, and things –ranging from jewlery, clothing, and makeup to automobiles, furniture, and artwork – that we use in our daily lives."  (O'Rourke, 2010, p. 257)  Object language often communicates when do not necessarily intend them to.

Nonverbal communication covers such a wide variety of things that it is often difficult to realize just how much of the communicating we do comes from our nonverbal cues.  For example, the cashier at the end of her shift huffing at the person who just pulled into her lane with a full cart sends a message that they are impatient, ready to leave, and not pleased with the added work. The child sitting at their desk, drawing pictures with their head laying on their arm and sighing communicates that they have very little interest in what the teacher is saying.  Not to mention the four-year old boy sitting by his mother's feet, growling and tickling those feet as she types out her Communication in Organizations paper, is communicating that he wants some attention. 

Nonverbal communication is such a strong part of communication that it typically holds more credibility than many other forms of communication.  "When verbal and nonverbal messages appear to contradict, for example, researchers tell us that most people will find the nonverbal channel more credible than the verbal one. In other words, most of us believe that it is more difficult to lie nonverbally than verbally."  (Shockley-Zalabak, 2009, p. 11)  Understanding what an enormous part of communication nonverbal cues are, helps us to pay more attention to the messages we are conveying.  For example, it is easier to understand a joke if the person communicating the message is smiling, rather than standing there with a stern look in their face.  Another example would be when dealing with small children.  Children often do things that are inappropriate and need correcting.  However, they also tend to make us laugh with some of their little antics.  When correcting a child, it is easier to communicate that their behavior was inappropriate when you can say it with a straight face and not laugh.  Otherwise, many children may think you do not take the situation seriously, or that it is funny when they do not behave.

Communication is the process of encoding, sending, and decoding messages.  We have already looked, in part, and some of the ways messages are encoded and sent via verbal and nonverbal communication.  This however, only encompasses a portion of the equation.  In order to properly complete the transfer of meaning and communicate effectively, they must also be able to receive, decode, and understand messages. 

There are several aspects that affect a person's ability to understand a message they have received.  Some of these include things like background noise, cultural differences, and a person's own mental set.  "A mental set consists of a person’s beliefs, values, attitudes, feelings, and so on. Because each message is composed and interpreted in light of an individual’s past experience, each encoded or decoded message has its own unique meaning."  (Trenholm, 2010, p. 25) 

Listening is a crucial step in receiving and decoding messages.  Effective listening involves more than just hearing what a person says.  "The difference between hearing and listening is substantial.  Hearing is merely an involuntary physical response to the environment.  Listening, on the other hand, is a process that includes hearing, attending to, understanding, evaluating, and responding to spoken messages.  It's a sophisticated skill that can be mastered only with considerable practice."  (O'Rourke, 2010, p. 225) 

Active listening is an important part of effective listening skills.  It "includes the processes of hearing, assigning meaning, and verifying our interpretations.  Skill in active listening supports effective communication by increasing the accuracy of message reception."  (Shockley-Zalabak, 2009, p.171) It "begins with an attitude about our role in the communication process. Active listeners stop talking long enough to hear what others have to say. They summarize main points and evaluate facts and evidence before responding."  (Shockley-Zalabak, 2009, p. 172)

The benefits of better listening are overwhelming.  They can spell the difference between success and disaster.  For example, in watching the movie "Life as We Know It", there is a scene where poor listening results in a very destructive situation.  In this scene, one of the characters is attempting to teach another how to ride his motorcycle.  As he starts the machine up, he yells over the engine, "Don't let go!"  Unfortunately, the message received is "Let go!"  The motorcycle screeches across the street without its rider, hits a tree, and then is run over by an oncoming bus.  Whereas this situation was used for humor in the movie, the effects of poor listening can still be seen.  In real life, this would be a horrible situation.  Sadly, it could have been easily avoided with better listening.

Aside from avoiding potential disaster, several other benefits are also available from effective listening skills.  For example, listening demonstrates acceptance.  "The very act of listening to another person demonstrates that you value him or her and care about what he or she is saying."  (O'Rourke, 2010, p. 226)  Lisenting effectively also promotes problem-solving abilities.  "Rather than providing advice and solutions right away, most successful managers encourage employees to arrive at solutions on their own.  By listening carefully and reflectively, a supervisor can guide a subordinate to a solution that has a greater chance for success and substantiallther than providing advice and solutions right away, most successful managers encourage employees to arrive at solutions on their own.  By listening carefully and reflectively, a supervisor can guide a subordinate to a solution that has a greater chance for success and substantially greater levels of employee buy-in."  (O'Rourke, 2010, p. 226) 

Listening to others also utilizes a degree of humility.  When we listen to others, we realize that they have thoughts and ideas that we may not.  "Often, you'll find great ideas where you least expect them.  They may come from your customers, your employees, your suppliers and business partners, and (interestingly) from people who refuse to do business with you.  You might be genuinely surprised at what your competitors customers are saying about you, if only you'd take the time to listen to them.  (O'Rourke, 2010, p.226)

Another benefit of effective listening comes from a more emotional side.  When we listen to others we help to increase their level of self-esteem.  In addition, litening helps us to reflect on our own imperfections.  When we listen to others, we stop talking ourselves.  We give ourselves a moment to reflect on what is being said and to stop being the center of attention.  Often times, "a little instruction and some practice in active listening can help talkers to shut up and the self-consciously shy to open up."  (O'Rourke, 2010, p. 226)  Emotions often run high in conversation.  However, when we use active and effective listening, we can often avoid a head-on emotional collision.  "If you concentrate on your own needs to the exclusion of other people's needs and interests, you will find that others return the favor.  They will focus on their own interests and not yours.  The key to preventing the sort of emotional train wrecks that are destructive to any organization is to put other people's needs ahead of your own.  Find out what their concerns and interests are first - by listening carefully to them - and you will likely get what you want sooner and with substantially less angst."  (O'Rourke, 2010, p. 227)

Verbal, nonverbal, and listening skills are all essential parts of the communication process.  Sometimes, however, they are not enough.  Messages can still become distorted and unclear.  Often times, barriers to effective communication get in the way.  One of these barriers is noise.  "Noise is any distraction that interferes with or changes a message during transmission."  (Trenholm, 2010, p. 25)  In the case of the example earlier, the noise was the roar of the motorcycle engine.  However, any distraction that interferes with the transfer of meaning constitutes noise.  This can vary from distractions outside of ourselves to the internal noise we create in our own minds.  Our own attitudes, feelings, fears, values, and past experiences influence the noise and messages we receive.  In turn, they also influence the verbal and nonverbal messages we send out.  In truth, these mental sets can form a large barrier or benefit to our communication abilites. 

Other barriers to effective communication include such things as "labeling communicators and subjects as uninteresting or unimportant,  emotionally Resisting Messages, and criticizing personal style rather than messages."  (Shockley-Zalabak, 2009, p. 170-171)  Failing to identify listening distractions, faking attention, and not listening are also barriers that prevent good communication from taking place. 

Effective communication is essential for organizations to develop and thrive.  Effective communication requires the use of many skills.  Of these, some of the most important include verbal and nonverbal communication, effective listening skills, and overcoming barriers.  Mastery of these elements will help to ensure that communication is both effective and productive.

References

O'Rourke, J. A. (2010). Management Communication, A Case-Analysis Approach. Upper Saddle River: Prentice Hall.

Shockley-Zalabak, P. S. (2009). FUNDAMENTALS OF ORGANIZATIONAL COMMUNICATION: Knowledge, Sensitivity, Skills, Values (7th ed.). University of Colorado: Pearson Education, Inc.

Trenholm, S. (2010). Thinking Through Communication for Ashford University (6th ed.). Pearson Learning Solutions.

Mediation and Arbitration

The conflict we face in this world is constant.  Conflict is a natural part of life, through which we must learn to navigate.  There are varieties of tools available to facilitate conflict resolution on a day-to-day basis.  Communication, the S-TLC system, negotiation, managing stress and anger, and forgiveness all can help to resolve conflict.  However, sometimes this is not enough.  Mediation and arbitration may be necessary to resolve conflict in some situations. 

Mediation takes place when "a neutral third party facilitates communication between the conflicting parties so that they may work out their own mutually acceptable agreement" (Abigail & Cahn, 2011, p. 195).  Sometimes disputes become so emotional that individuals lose the ability to communicate effectively with one another.  They have lost site of that necessary step in conflict resolution and can only see their personal agenda.  "A dispute is defined as a conflict that has reached a point where the parties are unable to resolve the issue by themselves due to a breakdown in communication, and normal relations are unlikely until the dispute is resolved"  (Abigail & Cahn, 2011, p. 195). 

When communication levels have deteriorated to that point, it is necessary to use a neutral third party to help resolve the conflict and help to reopen the lines of communication.  This is often used in situations regarding family law and relationships.  More often than not, mediation is used during child custody and support litigation.  Mediation also plays a large part in divorce, seperation, and marriage counceling.  "Mediation is an informal and confidential way for people to resolve disputes with the help of a neutral mediator who is trained to help people discuss their differences. The mediator does not decide who is right or wrong or issue a decision. Instead, the mediator helps the parties work out their own solutions to problems"  (USA.gov).

During mediation, a mediator (or "neutral third party who has no decision-making power regarding the outcome of the mediation") works to "facilitate communication by encouraging cooperation and discouraging competition between parties"  (Abigail & Cahn, 2011, p. 198).  The mediator helps individual parties describe the dispute, allows each the opportunity to voice their concerns, helps the parties to find common ground and the hopefully come to a final agreement.  Again, often this works well during family law cases where emotions run high and individuals have lost the ability to communicate and settle their disputes on their own. 

Mediation is a strong tool.  However, sometimes a situation calls for a little something more.  Arbitration is when "a neutral third party considers both sides of a dispute and makes a decision, which is more binding than that of a judge in the legal system if both parties have agreed in advance to abide by the decision"  (Abigail & Cahn, 2011, p. 195).  Arbitration also works well in the legal system in the case of family law.  When parties have already gone through mediation and still cannot come to an agreement, arbitration offers an alternative to going before a judge.  Arbitration is also used in the housing industry.  During the closing of a home loan, most mortgage  companies include a document amongst the papers that states that the borrowers agree to arbitrations if they are ever to default on the loan.  This document allows the mortgage company to circumvent the court system to aquire an eviction notice and reclaim the house.  Since it is signed at the closing table by the home owners as part of the loan papers, the individuals have already previously agreed to abide by the decision of the arbitors. 

The American Arbitration Association (AAA) is an organization that allows both individuals and other organizations an alternative to resolving conflicts and disputes in court.  The AAA assists "in the appointment of mediators and arbitrators, setting hearings, and providing users with information on dispute resolution options, including settlement through mediation. Ultimately, the AAA aims to move cases through arbitration or mediation in a fair and impartial manner until completion" (Association, 2007).   The AAA covers a vast area of careers and dispute cases.  The AAA covers commercial, construction, consumer, employment, government, labor and international disputes. 

After having worked as a mortgage processor for over six years, I have witnessed arbitration used multiple times.  In this particular industry, there are two situations where I have seen it used most often.  The first is in the situations stated above.  The majority of mortgage lenders require an arbitration agreement signed at closing.  This alleviates the mortgage company from having to spend extra time and money in reclaiming the home if the borrowers are unable to pay back the loan.  In this situation, utilization of the AAA can help resolve this dispute.  Since the borrowers have already signed the document at closing the mortgage company simply needs to send a copy to the AAA showing that they have agreed to decision. 

The second example came to my attention more recently.  After having worked for several years as a mortgage processor, I became a registered appraiser.  As a real estate appraiser, I worked with my husband who was a licensed appraiser.  He mentored and taught other new appraisers the trade and helped them to build their own business.  A few of the appraisers he mentored decided to go off on their own.  They concluded that they would be much more profitable in the appraisal industry if they ignored some of the laws.  My husband tried to warn them.  In the end, however, they decided not to listen.  As of a few weeks ago, my husband received a subpoena to testify in court against them.  I spoke in some detail with my husband and the investigator on the case.  Apparently, these individuals received an offer for mediation and were unable to come to any type of agreement.  Later, the prosecutor offered them a chance to settle through arbitration.  They refused. Now their fate hangs in the justice system.

Conflicts are unavoidable.  They are bound to happen.  When standard day-to-day tactics are not enough and conflicts are elevated into disputes, other tactics must come into play.  Mediation and arbitration may be necessary to resolve conflict in some situations. 

References

Abigail, R. A., & Cahn, D. D. (2011). Managing Conflict Through Communication. Boston: Allyn & Bacon.

Association, A. A. (2007). About Us. Retrieved June 20, 2011, from American Arbitration Association: http://www.adr.org/about

USA.gov. (n.d.). Mediation. Retrieved June 20, 2011, from U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commision: http://www.eeoc.gov/employees/mediation.cfm